My Computer Just Ate My Article!
Don't Ever Let This Happen To You!
by Ron Knowlton
Yes, it's true. It happened just the other day!
I wrote one of my best articles ever. Polished it
off. It was ready for the big time. I knew it
would be published everywhere (because,
of
course, it was just that good).
Then it happened!
The power went off! Only for a second or two.
There was a loud click and then
that wicked
humming noise! As my computer came back to life.
And then there it was in front of me!
A completely blank screen!
There was nothing, man! NADA! NO ARTICLE!!!!
The computer swallowed it all! Took it down in
one gulp! Didn't even leave a trace!
And my memory is not that good, you know, as I
tried to bring the story back.
I only got out a few sentences before I collapsed
on the floor, in complete writing exhaustion!
It wasn't coming back at all! My great article
was gone forever!
My trusted computer! To let me down at a moment
like this!
And the power company! How could they do this to
me! Destroyed a great article before it even
had a chance to see the light of day!
Did they even know what they did?
Then the wicked thought hit me. Maybe it was all
planned! A true conspiracy!
They zapped the power on my computer to show me.
Big brother was at its worst.
Anyway, I've wised up since then! Now I'm more
cautious! And I've even come up with some
great tips to keep this from happening to you:
1. Back up your article every five minutes
(No, wait, maybe you'd better make that every
three seconds - just to be safe!)
2. Keep a sledge hammer nearby just in case
(to show your computer, who's boss, of course).
This should scare your computer into total
submission! It wouldn't dare fail on you!
3. Call the power company and threaten to cancel
your service! That will show them! Then they'll
know you mean business.
4. And if it does ever happen
to you, seek
immediate counseling! Don't let this traumatic
event ruin your life!
Now when I write (and particularly when I know
that my article is going to be a long one) I stop
and save it.
Sometimes I stop and save, stop and save, stop
and save. It can really be irritating to anyone
watching when I'm like that.
You see, I know better now!
This is never going to happen again.
(I'm writing this while holding onto my sledge
hammer. The computer wouldn't dare zap this
article, would it?)
Bzzzzzzzt! Whirrrrr! Oh, no!
NOT AGAIN!
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